Lonely Nights

I've ended up in the bad habit of staying up until the wee hours of the morning this week. Unfortunately, since Scott has a job now and must go to bed around midnight, this leads to me spending several hours alone with the TV and the computer. The lack of human interaction is getting to me a bit. Of course, it's hard to say I could just pick out anyone to chat with at these times. Most people are asleep or working. Mainly asleep.

This peculiar loneliness is something of a new phenomenon for me. I haven't often felt lonely. I get by with the voices in my head most of the time, so to speak. It's an indication of how my expectations have changed. I've become accustomed to being talked to, and I've lost the capacity to deal with silence. Maybe I'm afraid of it. The silence is building up inside of me, and I should really write something to get it out, but I'm afraid of doing that, too. I hold it at an arm's length.