Blogging

Again, it's really almost the next day ... let's time travel together!

Really, these diary entries are getting awfully long. But I guess that's typical for me. I've kept diaries over the years, and sometimes, they were all that kept me sane (case in point: junior high -- I didn't even realize how utterly depressed I was then until I looked back on it from high school). I write them for relatively short periods of time, maybe for a few months or a year, whenever I get the inspiration. Usually, I read something where a character or person keeps a diary -- like one of my favorite books, Anne Frank's The Diary of a Young Girl. This time, the impetus was the recent "weblog" phenomenon. I actually signed up for one of those blogging services, but I never used it. Doing so would require me to write downstairs in full view of my overcurious family, which was not a viable option. Therefore, I created my own version on my revamped site ... but you already know that story. Anyway, I write for a short time in intense bursts that usually keep me up for many hours beyond my bedtime, resulting in pages upon pages of critical analyses of my everyday life and a lot of wacky musings and theories.

I have successfully recreated my little Sim suburb since I last wrote. I had completely lost all my Sim families that day when I tried to uninstall the Sims expansion pack. I never should have tried to copy my brother's disk ... I was certainly punished for it, thank you very much! I reinstalled the original game and recreated my favorite characters, but they went from living in a mansion and having a net worth of over 100,000 simoleons (however that is spelled) to a modest home with crappy furniture, both bought on a budget of a mere 20,000. Arrgh. On the upside, I took the new game to work with me and created a family for the church between signing people in for pictures. I also created Harry Potter's family! Not the Dursleys, though. I resurrected James and Lily ... except I ought to go back to the first book and find out what Harry's mother actually looks like, because all I could recall were her green eyes, which are mentioned in Book 4.

I am a clothes shopping spree right now. I've suddenly realized that when I go to college, I will have to do laundry far too often because of my paltry wardrobe. I've attended Catholic schools, and so have worn a uniform five days a week for 14 years! I really never needed more than one or two pairs of jeans. Now, if I don't want to do laundry every week -- at $1.50 a pop, I might add -- I need to stock up. Also, I don't want to wear the same thing every day. Clothes complicate things way too much. I'm all for uniforms.

Yuck, I ate way too much today, and it's coming back to haunt me. Lately, I've been wondering if it's possible to develop an intolerance of grease, because I often start feeling slightly ill after a serving of potato chips. Probably it's all in my head, like my problems with meat. Now, I am not a vegetarian. I have no ethical issues with eating meat. But in the past few months -- and it comes and goes -- I just look and meat and suddenly can't bring myself to eat it any more. This is not a good thing at all! I am already too picky about food. I don't like most vegetables, and the only meats I ate to begin with were chicken, turkey, beef, and, occasionally, pork (but only bacon or sausage). I don't eat much fruit, either -- not because I don't like it, but just because I never think of it. That leaves grains and dairy -- macaroni and cheese, grilled cheese, cheese and crackers, and so on -- there's my diet. It's a wonder I manage to stay healthy, let alone keep off the pounds. Luckily, I still have that youthful metabolism ....

"Uuuuuuuggggggghhhhhh," adds my stomach.

I'm listening to the Barenaked Ladies right now. I've reached the end of Rock Spectacle, and right now they're doing this sublimely ridiculous rap about Ed's Uncle Elwin. I love that band's sense of humor. If I ever get to one of their shows, I will definitely bring along one of my boxes of mac and cheese -- I'm sure I'll have plenty on hand.

There was a period in my life where I didn't like mac and cheese. It was always my favorite food as a child, so my parents and grandparents started feeding it to me ALL THE TIME. Eventually, I became so inundated with cheesy noodles that I just couldn't take it anymore. I refused the dish for years. Fortunately, I eventually came around, and in time to embrace that new Easy Mac stuff, which I can make in the microwave and have every day! (But I don't. Really.)

Okay, it's officially 12:04a.m., so we've made it to tomorrow. Or perhaps today. It's one of the infinite mysteries of time. I'm going to head off now and find some fountain pen ink downstairs and maybe look for some Pepto-Bismol.

"Glllluuuuuugggg, glug, gggggllllllluuuuuuuugg," says my stomach.

Me, Online

Wow, quick turnaround, right? Well, if it makes you feel better, there's really only one hour left of August 25. So maybe not so quick ... but then, this is probably as good as it will ever get, so savor the moment.

I was doing a lot of web surfing today. I actually put my name in a search engine to see what came up. The first link on the list was for some sort of journalism site from San Francisco State University, which had news articles by a Colleen Fischer on it. Since I have an interest in journalism -- it's my major, after all -- I checked it out. Who knows, maybe the site had somehow got a hold of my old VillaNotes articles. When I clicked on this Colleen Fischer's name on the site (who turned out not to be me), an e-mail window popped up, and to my great surprise, I recognized the address! How random is this: this girl had sent me an e-mail several months ago, remarking on how the two of us shared a name! I had completely forgotten about this e-mail until I saw the address again. What a weird coincidence, that I would run across her again -- and that she was interested in journalism, too, no less.

Here's something else I came across: http://www.erie.net/~olcs/brochures.html. A little blast from the past. Not entirely accurate now, but a nice little nostalgia trip.

I said yesterday I'd talk about that incident junior year, but I really don't feel like a drag through the mud today. I'm a bit too cheery, and I'd hate to ruin the mood. Give me a little more time.

U2 played Slane Castle today!! Any U2 show would be unbelievable, but a huge show on their native soil has to be incredible. If only I had been there ... well, I'm just happy that they have announced another 25 US dates. Maybe I will get to see them after all. If anyone happens to have a ticket to Slane II, though ....

I've been spending the evening trying to help Sean tune his guitar ... ominously, he can't distinguish pitches very well. Of course, I don't know much about guitars ... I'm a pianist, myself (oh yeah, all the way to Basic Level 3!). It seems so difficult to match the notes. That's why pianists hire professionals to do that job ....

I updated my AOL Instant Messenger profile today ... so it actually says something now. And that something is ... well, nothing. I directed people to here. So if any of you reading this got the link from my profile ... hello.

It's been a very uneventful day ... obviously, that's why the above qualifies as news. All the action's overseas ... all that's here is me working at the church, signing people in for their photo sessions for the parish directory. I don't really want to stop writing, because once I stop, I really don't have anything to do. Nothing good's on television now or almost any time. There's only so many SNL reruns I can take. I wish VH1 would stop playing the same shows over and over again (and fire that annoying Jenna Lewis!). They play the latest Sugar Ray video way too much. I didn't like that band much to begin with, but now, I absolutely loathe them.

If I like anything about them though ... they write their own songs and play their own instruments. I hate it when people get to be stars without writing any of their own material ... especially when they can't sing well. And don't tell me that people like Christina Aguilera and Mariah Carey sing well, because they don't sing nearly as much as they screech! I also have a slight prejudice against solo acts ... if all that people cared about was the singing, then these acts wouldn't have all these drums and synths blaring behind them. A band produces music ... a singer sings, alone. Go join the opera or something ... if you really sing as well as you'd like to think.

I'm feeling rather lonesome again. I need a friend. Talk to me.

Ha, you can't hear me now! I'm writing this long before you'll see it. Still ... contact me.

Oh, by the way, it's been August 26 for 14 minutes now. Or 16, depending on the clock.

I'm kinda hungry, too. My internal clock is all screwed up. I've been staying up until 3 a.m. now, then I haven't been able to actually fall asleep until after 4 a.m. That might have something to do with sleeping until one ... but then, I didn't sleep that late today ... and I'm feeling very tired.

I'll pick up from before this little interlude some other day. Remind me to tell you about how I messed up my computer game.

Au revoir et bon nuit.

Alone Before School

The beginning of school rapidly approaches ... and those pangs of nausea ever increase in frequency. I wish more than anything right now that I knew someone going to this place. My friends are all leaving for college now ... Emily's been there since the seventeenth, almost a full month before I even leave! Everyone's going, and I'm left behind to wait, and now with almost no one around to help me through the final days and weeks!

It's terrible having most of my friends out of reach. There's no one for me to go to the movies with anymore. I see a review that catches my eye, and I think, "Oh, I should call so-and-so and ask her if she wants to check this out ... " and then I remember -- gone! Arrgh!!! I've even thought of just bribing some of my brothers to go with me to a film ... but then, they'd probably want to see something stupid like Jurassic Park III (haven't we been down this road two times too many??).

I decided today that I needed to tear myself away from The Sims and update this page ... before I waste an entire day furnishing my Sim family's mansion. Since I won't use the cheat codes to get money, I have to wait for the Sims to go to work for several Sim days before I can furnish a room to my taste ... my expensive taste, in this game. I decided that for this group of Sims, I would skip right over buying the cheaper furniture and only invest in quality couches and bathtubs ... and although I started work on this house quite a while ago, it still has a couple unfurnished rooms. I admit, some of the delay is my fault, since I am way too picky about the layout of the furniture, but then, I like my game to be aesthetically pleasing ... well, maybe I do attach too much importance to some things.

I saw the Barenaked Ladies episode of Behind the Music at 2 a.m. on August 20. Yes, I do make a habit of staying up that late, but anyway ... even though this is one of my favorite bands, I never knew most of the stuff they talked about on that show. For one thing, I had no idea that they had no success in America until the release of Stunt ... maybe I just live too close to Canada, because I remember "If I Had $1,000,000" being a huge hit in my little city several years ago...around when I was in sixth grade. It was on the radio constantly, my teacher used it in a class project, and my brothers and I knew all the words. Sean even has the original Gordon cassette ... that was before we all had personal CD players. Of course, I admit, I thought that the band had dropped off the planet between "Gordon" and "Stunt" ... but, apparently, the intervening albums weren't blockbusters in Canada, either ... well, I was extremely excited when I first heard "One Week," anyway, thinking this great band had finally made their second record. True stuff.

I also didn't know that the keyboardist had almost died from leukemia. I nearly cried during that half of the show, as he battled for his life. Can you blame me? He looked like such a nice, sweet guy, had finally had success with "Stunt" when he was diagnosed, and, come on, it was Behind the Music -- almost nothing good happens to people on that show! I figured the poor guy was doomed. Good news, though -- he is still very alive and much better! What drama ... I just wonder why the people at VH1 don't air that excellent episode more often, especially during the hours most people are awake...really, people, do we need to see Vanilla Ice, Grease, or Styx one more time???

How about some more stuff on U2 instead? I love U2. I never knew until they released their latest CD that so many of the songs I grew up loving on the radio were actually U2 songs ... but since I discovered that fact, I've just been snapping up the whole catalog as quickly as my nonexistent income will allow. I like that they have a huge range ... I can listen to powerful protest songs, thorny ballads, weird techno stuff, and just rock songs, all from the same group.

I just looked at my little note from the last entry, and I think I've pretty much covered everything I wanted to. On the last statement ... I think this site shows a part of me I don't usually let people see. Exposing my soul to strangers I will never see is easy ... it's just another bit of literature, like my poems and stories. But with people who already know me ... some stuff in here might surprise them.

I'm going to head off now and see if dinner's ready ... sometimes I miss the dinner call when I have a CD playing. As for next time ... here's something extremely personal ... maybe I'll talk about why I feel so horrible about how I treated someone back in my junior year and why it has been haunting me lately.

Harry Potter Musings

Hmm, it's been a while since I inaugurated this page, at least judging by the general frequency of diary entries. To tell the truth, the website has become low on my list of priorities for the past several days. In that time, I have been obsessed with finishing the Harry Potter books. The fourth one, the middle of the series but the last one currently available, is definitely the best one so far, by far. I could hardly bear to put it down, it was so entertaining and engrossing, and because of that, I have finished it today, a book over 700 pages long in less than a week, leaving myself with NO Harry Potter books to read until NEXT YEAR!!! I understand why all the little kids went crazy in the weeks leading up to the publication of the fourth one now ... the boy wizard is just too addictive!

And I must say, the ending of the fourth novel, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, was particularly cruel considering that the author has stated she has no intention of publishing the next in the series this year, even though it has been over a year since the fourth one came out and even though she has put out all the previous ones with only a one year gap between them. I know that sounds kind of indignant, and I realize that J. K. Rowling has really earned herself a break by now, what with all the work that must have gone into the fourth book (more on that later). And, of course, there is the first Harry Potter movie coming out around Thanksgiving. If the fifth book did come out this year, it would probably steal quite a bit of the movie's thunder. Yeah, that's right -- the book would be a lot more exciting than the picture. While the prospect of actually seeing all the imaginative people and places come to life on the big screen is enticing--and I've seen the trailer, and I think the job they've done recreating the look of the books is incredible -- it's still going to be a retread of the story we've already read -- in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. (Or Philosopher's Stone, if you're British -- I think the original title is far more appropriate, since "philosopher's stone" has a historical/literary basis, like most of the magical things in the books -- medieval alchemists sought to create the mythical "philosopher's stone" that would turn lead into gold or something, I'm not entirely sure of myself at the moment, since it's about 12:30 a.m., but I did do a research paper on this novel's basis in fairy tales, myths, and legends!)

But I'm getting way off track. I wanted to say this: In the previous three books, everything was tied up into a neat little package in the end, and every character could return home from Hogwarts with light hearts and easy minds. The fourth book has no nice little ending! It's a cliffhanger, a horrible, awful cliffhanger! Now, I see the purpose of cliffhangers, and I don't blame the author for using one -- it'll definitely keep people excited for the next installment -- but I hate, hate, hate cliffhangers!!!!! I screamed with frustration when they killed off Buffy in the season finale of Buffy the Vampire Slayer last season. WHAT kind of ending was that?? How could they kill off the main character? I scoured the web for days after that show, looking for any hint of resolution to this story. I am still not quite over it -- I had a fresh pang of frustration when they announced the season premiere wouldn't be until October.

Of course, the wait for Buffy to come back to life seems like nothing compared to the wait for Harry to head back to Hogwarts. I must tell you, I never seriously expected (watch out, plot spoilers ahead!) the author to resurrect Lord Voldemort in the middle of the series -- and to allow him to STAY resurrected, no less! I can't help but wonder how He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named will figure into the remaining books -- can she really keep him as a plausible villain for three more books now that she has brought him back to life? Even if Harry and company does not defeat him in the next installment, how will she keep the story going while incorporating the terror and destruction that, according to all the books, followed in the Dark Lord's wake during his rise to power? There hasn't been much death or destruction in the books so far -- sure, people have been beat up a lot (especially Harry), but up until and including the fourth novel, I can only think of five people who have actually died -- four of those in the last novel, admittedly. Still, how many important characters can be killed before there's no one left that we care about? On the other hand, how few could she kill off and still not leave us feeling like some characters are being artificially saved -- that logically, more should have perished for the sake of being realistic?

(Okay, it's safe to read again.)

Maybe I'm just quibbling too much. Ultimately, all I want is to read the next book in the series ... and the one after that ... and the one after that. I already wonder if I could possibly be satisfied with that!

If J. K. Rowling is out there somewhere, reading this, I have a suggestion for a magical item to be incorporated into Harry's world: the book that never ends. Call it whatever you like, but here's the concept -- the story just goes on forever, keeps on writing itself as you progress, so that there's no end until you become so sick of it that you voluntarily stop reading -- if that's even possible.

Oh, and if she's still reading -- I loved the Ron and Hermione thing -- so cute! Definitely perfect.

This entry's getting far too long, I ought to stop ... I was also supposed to get around to expanding my autobiography section, but considering the time and the fact that if I don't haul myself out of bed well before noon tomorrow to drive down to my old high school and pick up my yearbook I'll have wasted fifty dollars ... well, it doesn't look like that update's going to happen. Probably for the best, I have the suspicion that my writing is becoming somewhat incoherent.

I'm going to make myself some notes, though, so I remember what I want to write about in my next entry: my obsession with U2 (listening to Achtung Baby right now -- just finished All That You Can't Leave Behind), that this little diary section seems to be the replacement for someone to talk to in my pathetic life right now -- and how I hear the responses to everything I write to it, and, finally, how I'm not sure if I want people I actually know to read this.

The First Entry

It's so hard to start a new diary. It seems like there should be some sort of profound opening entry (and a profound closing entry, for that matter), cleverly introducing the writer, her personality, and her philosophy of life. Well, I don't feel I can do that with this little entry, not only because I just don't feel capable of writing it now but because it would seem somewhat repetitive after my Autobiography section, so for that incredible introduction to me, I refer you to those pages.

Probably this first entry will disappear from the annals of this online journal. I might very well be able to write a better one after a while, after resting my brain for a few days. I have been working for many, many hours the past two days completely revamping this site and introducing it to a new website creation program. I've been generating tons of new written material to fill my new pages, and, unfortunately for the quality of this page, this is the last page to be put together. Sorry!

But hey, you never know. It could crop up on some future behind the scenes -- look at this site or as special bonus material. Anyone who has looked at the Writing section of this site knows that I don't usually let anything I write go to waste.